The Fibrochondriac

Last night, when I was making the 45 minute drive back to my friend’s house, my eyes kinda gave up on me. The road got blurry, then there were two of them and the oncoming headlights were exploding in my eyes…and it was definitely time to stop and take a break.

Which was good because after I stopped (in a random Walmart parking lot) the top of my head felt like it was coming off…and then I had a panic attack. The whole world felt like it was caving in on me.

Fun times!!

I finally called my husband and he was able to talk me down off the ledge…after first offering to call 911 for me. Nothing straightens me out faster than the threat of having to go to a hospital.

I had just finally hit my wall. I knew it was coming…I was “writing checks my body couldn’t cash” and I knew it. I’d just come back from ten days of family vacation and I’ve spent the past week spending the day with my soon-to-give-birth daughter’s house, hanging out with my son in the evening, teaching him how to drive…and then spending the night at my wonderful friend’s house. Way more than I’m usually doing. And honestly more than I’m capable of.

So I forced myself to finish the drive to my friend’s house and climbed in her bed and passed out. I’ve been curled up in it pretty much all day. I did get up long enough for her to make me breakfast. Yum

Last night I managed to wake up for a phone call…my grandson is definitely on his way! Haven’t heard squat from my daughter since then. It’s to be expected, but I still keep staring at the phone hoping it will ring.

It’s just as well as I need to rest a bit.
Ya think?!!

I hate being tethered to these pills. I forget these, or run out and my world turns upside down. All pain, no sleep and enough anxiety to freak out a normal person (at one point I was somewhat normal…whatever normal is).

I don’t want to sound less than grateful for my little pills. They are truly “mommy’s little helper” right now. I’m in Seattle to hang out with my daughter who is due to have my first grandchild soon. I love being part of this and I wouldn’t trade if for anything.

I spend the days with her, then go visit with my son and help him get set up in his new apartment and then at the end of the day, I drive down to my friend’s house to spend the night. Definitely a step outside my comfort zone and definitely couldn’t happen with my little pills.

It may be “fake energy” that I get from those little pills, but right now I’ll take it. It’s not like I intend on staying on these forever…some day I’ll need to quit taking short cuts with my health. Maybe.

But right now I’m happy to be a soon-to-be grandma and grateful for these little pills that help out…