The Fibrochondriac

We attended a very sweet wedding yesterday and I’m happy for my friends. John was a very good groomsman and kept his hands out of his pockets during the ceremony. I know, I watched.

The manager, the one who caused my blood pressure to go crazy a couple of days ago at the thought of seeing him at the wedding, didn’t show. In hindsight I’m not surprised. This manager is the same guy who rsvp’ed “yes” to another employee’s wedding several years ago and didn’t make it.

Hers was a very formal Vietnamese wedding and was orchestrated down to the last detail. Not showing up without notice showed disrespect. Either he or his wife “got sick”; I don’t remember what the excuse was when they were both at work and seemed to be fine the following Monday.

I am aware I should be the last person to snipe about another person’s flakiness, but it’s the consistent flakiness of a healthy person in management that I’m noting. Neener neener.

Screwed up seating charts, the wasted catering expense…whatever. Not his problem.

So it really was no surprise he was a no-show to this wedding. But it really is telling as to his character. As if I needed a reminder.

And my post about him says a lot about where I’m at. I mean other than the whole swearing like a sailor thing…oops. I wrote the post while I was still raw and that’s just how it came out.

But that’s the thing…I haven’t seen him in years and he means nothing to me. Yet I still went ballistic with unresolved anger.

Letting this stuff eat at me does me no good. I know this. And because I know this I’ve tried and tried to put it behind me. I’ve gone thru cognitive-based therapy, hypnosis, journalling (novels have been written!), using the rubber-band aversion therapy (ouch). I’ve even worked with a life coach in making up stories to put there actions in context. I’ve tried just letting go of those painful emotions. And I do let go.

But like zits, they just keep coming back when I’m not careful.

There has got to be a key to this, something that I am missing that allows me to move on gracefully and allows me to put it behind me.

Damned if I know what it is!